Greetings friends!
Decisions are made by those who show up. It’s a quote that I’ve heard just about everywhere, but I think I most associate it with the greatest television show of all time: The West Wing.
Now, perhaps this is an interesting topic to point to in our continued season of social distancing, because it seems like the only thing we can’t do right now is show up. Maybe you can’t show up to work, or to your favorite sporting event, or even to your barber. However, in this season of social distancing, as I’ve had more time alone at home in my tiny office, I’ve been trying a little experiment.
I’ve been trying to show up to myself.
Think about it. Have you ever been driving home from work, or the grocery store, or something, only to arrive at home and not remember anything about the drive to get there? Have you ever been with your kids, and they need at least three different attempts to get your attention? Have you ever been speaking with someone only to realize that about 5 minutes in you have no idea what they were talking about? Our brains can become so busy and overwhelmed with tasks, to-do lists, and productivity that we forget to show up to those who need us most.
And that includes ourselves, and what’s going on in our own spirit.
I’ve at least noticed that my grumpy days during this strange season seem to be EXTREMELY grumpy, and I think part of the reason why is that I am more forced to pay attention to those feelings than I otherwise would be. I can’t go to Target for retail therapy when I’m having a bad day right now. So I have to sit with those feelings. I have to show up.
So I’ve been wondering, what does it look like to do that intentionally? What does it look like to set aside some time every morning to sit, in the stillness and quiet (or at least as much as you can get with kids in the house), and welcome your feelings in, notice them, be aware of them, and manage them from there? In fact, the Church mystics have been keen to this idea for a long time. Check out this prayer that my spiritual director sent me a few weeks ago:
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
I welcome everything that comes to me today
because I know it’s for my healing.
I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons,
situations, and conditions.
I let go of my desire for power and control.
I let go of my desire for affection, esteem,
approval and pleasure.
I let go of my desire for survival and security.
I let go of my desire to change any situation,
condition, person or myself.
I open to the love and presence of God and
God’s action within. Amen
So what does it look like for you to show up to your self today? To take stock of the feelings, rumblings, musings, and attitudes of your spirit?